BURGERS versus McNUGGETS
A lot of trash talking between the 2 worst teams in FFLA league history. The McNuggets feel they have a fighting chance against the team with the worst power ranking in the league. However, don't count the Burger Kings out yet, they still have 1 bullet left in the chamber. The Las Vegas McNuggets are feeling very confident this week, sending numerous threatening emails to the team owner of the Burger Kings. Talk is cheap Mr. Osborne, Sr., why don't you stop talking and start learning how to win Bagadouche!!!!
GILA MONSTERS EAT TOAST FOR BREAKFAST
The win streak will end for the Toast. I have no evidence to back this statement up. I just want Don to lose because his ego needs to be deflated. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR #1 POWER RANKING.
BEAVERS AND BUTTS - Part Duex
The Beavers need to lose because his ego needs to be deflated also. Mr. Beavers wishes Tom and Steve were still in the league because he secretly loved to hate them. The Monkey Butts have been quiet this year and are on a 3 game losing streak. Can he turn it around against the Beavers? If he can't turn it around, I've heard of worse tragedies.
BUNNIES IN HEAT AGAIN
The Battle of the top 2 teams in the Western Conference. I hate both of them and wish they both would lose. Unfortunately, that is not possible so I don't really care what happens. All that matters is my team sucks and life ain't fair.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Week 8 Recap
Hang on to your Butts
The freefall continues for the men from Monee. With 3 players recording 0pts and two with 1pt this week, they managed just 65 total points and were doubled up by the Toast. Champaign set an FFLA scoring record this week with 139pts, 4pts short of both the offensive and defensive scoring records. Their offense alone managed to outscore the entire Monee team, with 5 players in double digits. The defense held up their end as well with 61pts, and the team seems to be clicking on all cylinders. This victory moves the Toast past the Butts for the first time this season.
What the hell?
Boston thought they had the game wrapped up with 3 men playing on Monday night, trailing by only 6. When the Beavers laid an egg on Monday, unable to score the measly 6pts they needed, the Gilas thought they sealed the victory. But the Beavers rose from the dead again with a scoring error correction that allowed them to slip past the Monsters for a 4pt victory. Back up the truck, the Monsters had one bullet left and used it on Philip Rivers’ scoring correction to beat the Beavers by 8. For now….
Bunnies do some housework
Carson City gets the series sweep over Compton, with a 21pt win. Same outcome but different story from Week 1 when the Bunnies used their powerhouse offense and Michael Turner to kill the Kings, Carson City put together a completely balanced attack this time around (56pts from both O and D) with only 3pts from Turner. Even though Compton actually had positive points from Favre this week, their team is still hurting from the loss of Larry Johnson and Steven Jackson and weak production from its wide receivers. Brandon Marshall was on a bye, but the Kings seem to be fading fast in the West as more dominant teams appear to be taking control of the division.
Who the heck needs a kicker
Someone forgot to tell Brian Westbrook this game was about the kickers. After a kicker controversy sent two team owners packing just hours before Sunday’s kickoff, the Nuggets hoped this was the beginning of the good luck they needed to turn their season around. Unfortunately, what the former Heat owner should have been concentrating on was the return of their star player, as Westbrook injected the offense with 25pts, sending them over the century mark for the first time since he left with injury. As weak as the Heat have been all season, they somehow remain in 1st place and as long as Westbrook stays healthy, could be tough to overtake down the stretch. For the Nuggets, the dream appears to be just about over for this season, they might need to start planning for 2009.
The freefall continues for the men from Monee. With 3 players recording 0pts and two with 1pt this week, they managed just 65 total points and were doubled up by the Toast. Champaign set an FFLA scoring record this week with 139pts, 4pts short of both the offensive and defensive scoring records. Their offense alone managed to outscore the entire Monee team, with 5 players in double digits. The defense held up their end as well with 61pts, and the team seems to be clicking on all cylinders. This victory moves the Toast past the Butts for the first time this season.
What the hell?
Boston thought they had the game wrapped up with 3 men playing on Monday night, trailing by only 6. When the Beavers laid an egg on Monday, unable to score the measly 6pts they needed, the Gilas thought they sealed the victory. But the Beavers rose from the dead again with a scoring error correction that allowed them to slip past the Monsters for a 4pt victory. Back up the truck, the Monsters had one bullet left and used it on Philip Rivers’ scoring correction to beat the Beavers by 8. For now….
Bunnies do some housework
Carson City gets the series sweep over Compton, with a 21pt win. Same outcome but different story from Week 1 when the Bunnies used their powerhouse offense and Michael Turner to kill the Kings, Carson City put together a completely balanced attack this time around (56pts from both O and D) with only 3pts from Turner. Even though Compton actually had positive points from Favre this week, their team is still hurting from the loss of Larry Johnson and Steven Jackson and weak production from its wide receivers. Brandon Marshall was on a bye, but the Kings seem to be fading fast in the West as more dominant teams appear to be taking control of the division.
Who the heck needs a kicker
Someone forgot to tell Brian Westbrook this game was about the kickers. After a kicker controversy sent two team owners packing just hours before Sunday’s kickoff, the Nuggets hoped this was the beginning of the good luck they needed to turn their season around. Unfortunately, what the former Heat owner should have been concentrating on was the return of their star player, as Westbrook injected the offense with 25pts, sending them over the century mark for the first time since he left with injury. As weak as the Heat have been all season, they somehow remain in 1st place and as long as Westbrook stays healthy, could be tough to overtake down the stretch. For the Nuggets, the dream appears to be just about over for this season, they might need to start planning for 2009.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
WEEK 8 NEWS AND PREVIEW
Drama Queen Week
The 2 most controversial team owners bail from the league over a bizarre rules dispute. The Team Owners of the Tempe Arizona Heat and the Calumet City Gila Monsters were up to their Shenanigans again late on a Thursday Night. Both teams were online attempting to outbid the Las Vegas Nuggets on a Kicker (Matt Bryant 4 years), when the Nuggets were able to submit a last minute bid for another Kicker (Jon Carney). This outraged the Heat Team Owner which set off a chain of events that led to the departure of both teams (BFF). The Gilas Monsters departure was mighty suspicious considering he built up $72.00 in cut fees that he never paid. Both teams were left behind in some serious cap and debt issues. Neither team has any flexibility and will have to finish the season with the roster that is currently in place. The future team owner who takes over this team will be at a disadvantage.
This negative news was followed up by some good news when an interim team owner (Pam Haug) was found to help manage the Tempe Arizona Heat for the remaining of the season. The Gilas Monsters Starting Roster will be submitted by Commissioner Soukup.
TOASTY BUTTS - THE SEQUEL
Will the Toast get revenge on the Monkey Butts? The Toast have a big advantage considering the Monkey Butts are going without their #1 running back Adrian Peterson and the Sackmaster Aaron Kampman. The Toast are going without running back Ryan Grant but he has been mostly a non-factor this year anyways. I'm predicting another victory for the Toast which would put him on a 5 game winning streak and the Monkey Butts on a 3 Game Losing Streak. The Toast started the season on a 3 game losing streak so no one predicted he would turn around such a dismal start. Toast by 7
NOT MUCH OF A RIVAL NOW
Beavers versus the Gilas would normally be a heated rivalry but without Tom Gunnum at the helm the Beavers have no one to smack talk. Commissioner Soukup will be running the Gilas roster and will be happy to run the #2 Power Ranked Team. The Beavers on the other hand have been getting lucky week after week and are ranked 4th in the Power Rankings. Matt Beavers is going with out Matt Forte this week and is at a disadvantage. Gilas by 11
BURGERS SERVED AT THE BUNNIE RANCH
The Burger Kings lost in the 1st meeting with the Bunnies and needs to get a win to move ahead in the standings. The Burger Kings are going without Brandon Marshall and Bernard Berrian. The Bunnies are missing 4 key defensive players (Jared Allen, Brian Urlacher, Champ Bailey and Nick Collins). It appears to be a close matchup but the Bunnies have been a a more consistent team this year and have the potential to score a lot of points. I think this game will come down to the wire. Bunnies by 3
LAS VEGAS NEEDS A WIN BAD
The Nuggets are 1-6 and will face the interim team owner Pam Haug this week. After Steve's official departure, the league just got a whole lot more competitive with Pam Haug at the helm. The new owner has little to work with, so her job performance will not be criticized heavily. The Nuggets are in dire need of a win and will stop at nothing to get one. Team Owner Don Osborne, Sr. was involved in the controvery surrounding the departure of 2 teams from the league and I believe this was his master plan all along. Nuggets by 6
The 2 most controversial team owners bail from the league over a bizarre rules dispute. The Team Owners of the Tempe Arizona Heat and the Calumet City Gila Monsters were up to their Shenanigans again late on a Thursday Night. Both teams were online attempting to outbid the Las Vegas Nuggets on a Kicker (Matt Bryant 4 years), when the Nuggets were able to submit a last minute bid for another Kicker (Jon Carney). This outraged the Heat Team Owner which set off a chain of events that led to the departure of both teams (BFF). The Gilas Monsters departure was mighty suspicious considering he built up $72.00 in cut fees that he never paid. Both teams were left behind in some serious cap and debt issues. Neither team has any flexibility and will have to finish the season with the roster that is currently in place. The future team owner who takes over this team will be at a disadvantage.
This negative news was followed up by some good news when an interim team owner (Pam Haug) was found to help manage the Tempe Arizona Heat for the remaining of the season. The Gilas Monsters Starting Roster will be submitted by Commissioner Soukup.
TOASTY BUTTS - THE SEQUEL
Will the Toast get revenge on the Monkey Butts? The Toast have a big advantage considering the Monkey Butts are going without their #1 running back Adrian Peterson and the Sackmaster Aaron Kampman. The Toast are going without running back Ryan Grant but he has been mostly a non-factor this year anyways. I'm predicting another victory for the Toast which would put him on a 5 game winning streak and the Monkey Butts on a 3 Game Losing Streak. The Toast started the season on a 3 game losing streak so no one predicted he would turn around such a dismal start. Toast by 7
NOT MUCH OF A RIVAL NOW
Beavers versus the Gilas would normally be a heated rivalry but without Tom Gunnum at the helm the Beavers have no one to smack talk. Commissioner Soukup will be running the Gilas roster and will be happy to run the #2 Power Ranked Team. The Beavers on the other hand have been getting lucky week after week and are ranked 4th in the Power Rankings. Matt Beavers is going with out Matt Forte this week and is at a disadvantage. Gilas by 11
BURGERS SERVED AT THE BUNNIE RANCH
The Burger Kings lost in the 1st meeting with the Bunnies and needs to get a win to move ahead in the standings. The Burger Kings are going without Brandon Marshall and Bernard Berrian. The Bunnies are missing 4 key defensive players (Jared Allen, Brian Urlacher, Champ Bailey and Nick Collins). It appears to be a close matchup but the Bunnies have been a a more consistent team this year and have the potential to score a lot of points. I think this game will come down to the wire. Bunnies by 3
LAS VEGAS NEEDS A WIN BAD
The Nuggets are 1-6 and will face the interim team owner Pam Haug this week. After Steve's official departure, the league just got a whole lot more competitive with Pam Haug at the helm. The new owner has little to work with, so her job performance will not be criticized heavily. The Nuggets are in dire need of a win and will stop at nothing to get one. Team Owner Don Osborne, Sr. was involved in the controvery surrounding the departure of 2 teams from the league and I believe this was his master plan all along. Nuggets by 6
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Week 7 Recap
Crapped Out
The bad luck continues for the Nuggets. Going into the game with no options at QB, Romo’s decision to end his consecutive games played streak proved to be the difference. Despite a well balanced attack and 4 guys in double digits, they came up 8pts short, which would’ve been reachable had they been able to aquire Kyle Orton. The Toast on the other hand, are now running on a 4 game winning streak after their 0-3 start and have battled back into a 3-way tie for 2nd place in the East. Led by runaway train Brandon Jacobs they continue their top dog spot in the power rankings and would’ve reached triple digits again had they realized Philly was on a bye this week.
Carson City suffering from too much Beaver
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the team with the best record in the league through 7 weeks, YOUR Boston Beeeeevers! Who the hell would’ve predicted this one? With the most solid performance to date the Beavers have turned into a powerhouse, sporting 5 players in double digits and scoring a whopping 67 offensive points. Congratulations as well to Ben Watson for finally tallying his first points of the season in his 7th start. Carson City had no shot in this one, already dealing with Michael Turner’s bye week and going without an active kicker, they had to watch their #1 ranked offense lay a stink bomb at the hands of Payton Manning. Their faint Monday Night hopes were dashed quickly when Randy Moss decided to use Champ Bailey as his personal bitch, breaking out with 2 TD’s and his best game of the season.
Monster Mash – Ghetto Remix
Heavily favored Cal City went into Compton looking for an easy win against the beaten up Kings. They did manage to rattle Favre into a 0pt performance and rack up 65pts on the defensive end, however, their putrid offensive output was the difference. Drew Brees’ day wasn’t much better than Favre’s and the San Diego runningback combo proved to be a bad call, producing just 4pts combined. No player on the Gila offense managed to score more than 5pts. Compton’s acquisitions helped cement the victory with Dominic Rhodes matching the Gilas total offensive output and the return of Bernard Berrian leading the offensive attack. Despite the perceived notion that Compton is an awful place to visit, this marks just the first home victory for the Kings this year.
Burnin’ Butts
Apparently the Monee offense missed the team flight, or were left wandering the desert on the way to the game, as the Monkey Butts failed to field an active QB and kicker against Tempe. Offensive leader, Adrian Peterson, accidentally packed teammate Plaxico Burress’ jersey rather than his own for the trip, forcing game officials to eject him prior to the start of the game for impersonating a disgruntled wide receiver. Running 3 men short on offense all game, Monee struggled to score points which ultimately led to its demise, hitting an all-time low 59 total points. Despite not reaching 80pts and starting 2 men who scored 0, Tempe cruised to its 4th win and sole possession of 1st place in the Western Conference.
The bad luck continues for the Nuggets. Going into the game with no options at QB, Romo’s decision to end his consecutive games played streak proved to be the difference. Despite a well balanced attack and 4 guys in double digits, they came up 8pts short, which would’ve been reachable had they been able to aquire Kyle Orton. The Toast on the other hand, are now running on a 4 game winning streak after their 0-3 start and have battled back into a 3-way tie for 2nd place in the East. Led by runaway train Brandon Jacobs they continue their top dog spot in the power rankings and would’ve reached triple digits again had they realized Philly was on a bye this week.
Carson City suffering from too much Beaver
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the team with the best record in the league through 7 weeks, YOUR Boston Beeeeevers! Who the hell would’ve predicted this one? With the most solid performance to date the Beavers have turned into a powerhouse, sporting 5 players in double digits and scoring a whopping 67 offensive points. Congratulations as well to Ben Watson for finally tallying his first points of the season in his 7th start. Carson City had no shot in this one, already dealing with Michael Turner’s bye week and going without an active kicker, they had to watch their #1 ranked offense lay a stink bomb at the hands of Payton Manning. Their faint Monday Night hopes were dashed quickly when Randy Moss decided to use Champ Bailey as his personal bitch, breaking out with 2 TD’s and his best game of the season.
Monster Mash – Ghetto Remix
Heavily favored Cal City went into Compton looking for an easy win against the beaten up Kings. They did manage to rattle Favre into a 0pt performance and rack up 65pts on the defensive end, however, their putrid offensive output was the difference. Drew Brees’ day wasn’t much better than Favre’s and the San Diego runningback combo proved to be a bad call, producing just 4pts combined. No player on the Gila offense managed to score more than 5pts. Compton’s acquisitions helped cement the victory with Dominic Rhodes matching the Gilas total offensive output and the return of Bernard Berrian leading the offensive attack. Despite the perceived notion that Compton is an awful place to visit, this marks just the first home victory for the Kings this year.
Burnin’ Butts
Apparently the Monee offense missed the team flight, or were left wandering the desert on the way to the game, as the Monkey Butts failed to field an active QB and kicker against Tempe. Offensive leader, Adrian Peterson, accidentally packed teammate Plaxico Burress’ jersey rather than his own for the trip, forcing game officials to eject him prior to the start of the game for impersonating a disgruntled wide receiver. Running 3 men short on offense all game, Monee struggled to score points which ultimately led to its demise, hitting an all-time low 59 total points. Despite not reaching 80pts and starting 2 men who scored 0, Tempe cruised to its 4th win and sole possession of 1st place in the Western Conference.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Week 7 Preview
Champaign at Las Vegas
The Toast are riding a 3 game winning streak as they travel to Nevada to take on the unlucky Nuggets. Both teams can score in bunches and rank in the upper half of the power rankings, however both are currently in sole possession of last place in their respective divisions. The Toast have righted their ship after losing their best player in week 1 and have battled back to the .500 mark, while the Nuggets have found themselves at the wrong poker table for most of the season, coming in at a league worst 1-5. Quarterbacks could be the difference in this one as Eli Manning is coming back to face the team that traded him away earlier in the season. The Nuggets could use him now that Romo is out with a pinkie and newly acquired McNabb is on bye. They are forced to look to Kyle Orton to at least get them through this week, but the way their luck has been going, this could be another tough week for the Nuggets.
Toast by 6
Carson City at Boston
The Beavers have been unusually quiet this week after a big win in Compton. Rumor has it that their team bus was overturned on their way outta Compton after the game and while no fatalities were reported, the Boston trainers had to work overtime this week to address the team’s medical needs. They hope their deadly Rivers/Portis/Forte combo will be healthy enough for the game to keep that Beaver Train a-rollin. The Bunnies come into the game with no Micheal Turner, which is a huge blow to their #1 ranked offense, however, the resurgence of Ronnie Brown and improving play of Payton might pick up the slack this week. Carson City holds a huge statistical advantage on paper, but you can never count out a lucky Beaver, especially at home.
Beavers by 1
Cal City at Compton
Word out of Calumet City this week is that a new support group has sprung up in the community: “The United Players Cut by Cal City”. Group founder of UPCCC, Leodis McLovin, a 2-time Cal City cut victim wanted to create a forum where former FFLA players that have experienced similar problems can go to share their thoughts and feelings. “I want them to know, they are not alone” McLovin said, “We all understand professional football is a business, but what some team owners don’t seem to understand is that what they see as turning a buck can negatively influence hundreds of people’s lives. Playing with my contract is like playing with my emotions.” McLovin also went on to say that he had a long, heart-to-heart chat with Bernard Berrian this week when the Gila Monsters decided to bid on him for a second time, after cutting him just 14 days ago. “I tried to warn him that there was a possibility of getting hurt again. Sometimes the love of the game blinds you from seeing the big picture. At least he is aware that when he gets cut again, our group will be here for him to get him through the pain.”
Cal City by 14
Monee at Tempe
The Heat have runningback issues (their best player Brian Westbrook is still dealing with injury problems) and wide receiver issues (traded away their best 2 WRs) and soon to have defensive line issues (looking to take on the Gila Monsters mistake and lock another 4 years up in a D-linemen). They are currently averaging 87 points per week, only 1 point more than the worst scoring team, and have not won since beating the Beavers in week 4. Despite all this, they currently sit in first place in the West with a tie-break over the Bunnies and in a league where a team averaging 10pts more than them has the worst record in the league, they are not in trouble by any means.
The Monkey Butts might be suffering from a hangover after they choked last week’s game and first place away on an Eric Wright INT on Monday night. Their QB position has been a concern all season and they finally decided to address it by cutting worthless Carson Palmer and picking up next-to-worthless Chad Pennington. Monee is also banged up in other areas; they are down to their last healthy TE, Shane Graham is hurt and their best defensive player, Charles Tillman, may not play this week. The Butts don’t have too many holes on their team, but if injuries continue to plague them, last week’s heartbreaker might be a sign of things to come.
Monee by 7
The Toast are riding a 3 game winning streak as they travel to Nevada to take on the unlucky Nuggets. Both teams can score in bunches and rank in the upper half of the power rankings, however both are currently in sole possession of last place in their respective divisions. The Toast have righted their ship after losing their best player in week 1 and have battled back to the .500 mark, while the Nuggets have found themselves at the wrong poker table for most of the season, coming in at a league worst 1-5. Quarterbacks could be the difference in this one as Eli Manning is coming back to face the team that traded him away earlier in the season. The Nuggets could use him now that Romo is out with a pinkie and newly acquired McNabb is on bye. They are forced to look to Kyle Orton to at least get them through this week, but the way their luck has been going, this could be another tough week for the Nuggets.
Toast by 6
Carson City at Boston
The Beavers have been unusually quiet this week after a big win in Compton. Rumor has it that their team bus was overturned on their way outta Compton after the game and while no fatalities were reported, the Boston trainers had to work overtime this week to address the team’s medical needs. They hope their deadly Rivers/Portis/Forte combo will be healthy enough for the game to keep that Beaver Train a-rollin. The Bunnies come into the game with no Micheal Turner, which is a huge blow to their #1 ranked offense, however, the resurgence of Ronnie Brown and improving play of Payton might pick up the slack this week. Carson City holds a huge statistical advantage on paper, but you can never count out a lucky Beaver, especially at home.
Beavers by 1
Cal City at Compton
Word out of Calumet City this week is that a new support group has sprung up in the community: “The United Players Cut by Cal City”. Group founder of UPCCC, Leodis McLovin, a 2-time Cal City cut victim wanted to create a forum where former FFLA players that have experienced similar problems can go to share their thoughts and feelings. “I want them to know, they are not alone” McLovin said, “We all understand professional football is a business, but what some team owners don’t seem to understand is that what they see as turning a buck can negatively influence hundreds of people’s lives. Playing with my contract is like playing with my emotions.” McLovin also went on to say that he had a long, heart-to-heart chat with Bernard Berrian this week when the Gila Monsters decided to bid on him for a second time, after cutting him just 14 days ago. “I tried to warn him that there was a possibility of getting hurt again. Sometimes the love of the game blinds you from seeing the big picture. At least he is aware that when he gets cut again, our group will be here for him to get him through the pain.”
Cal City by 14
Monee at Tempe
The Heat have runningback issues (their best player Brian Westbrook is still dealing with injury problems) and wide receiver issues (traded away their best 2 WRs) and soon to have defensive line issues (looking to take on the Gila Monsters mistake and lock another 4 years up in a D-linemen). They are currently averaging 87 points per week, only 1 point more than the worst scoring team, and have not won since beating the Beavers in week 4. Despite all this, they currently sit in first place in the West with a tie-break over the Bunnies and in a league where a team averaging 10pts more than them has the worst record in the league, they are not in trouble by any means.
The Monkey Butts might be suffering from a hangover after they choked last week’s game and first place away on an Eric Wright INT on Monday night. Their QB position has been a concern all season and they finally decided to address it by cutting worthless Carson Palmer and picking up next-to-worthless Chad Pennington. Monee is also banged up in other areas; they are down to their last healthy TE, Shane Graham is hurt and their best defensive player, Charles Tillman, may not play this week. The Butts don’t have too many holes on their team, but if injuries continue to plague them, last week’s heartbreaker might be a sign of things to come.
Monee by 7
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
WEEK 6 RECAP
THRILLA IN THE GILA 2
This game came down to homefield advantage. The Gilas won by the 3 point home field advantage. They were led by Drew Brees (2opts) and newly acquired safety Eric Weddle (10pts). The Monkey Butts got 19pts out of Marion Barber but the homefield advantage gave the Gilas the edge they needed. The Gilas stole 1st place from the Monkey Butts in the Eastern Conference and are currently 2nd in the Power Rankings. The current total for spending for the Gila Monsters is $45.00. The currently total for spending on the Monkey Butts team is $0.00.
THE BEAVERS SURVIVE COMPTON
The Beavers pounded the Kings and were led by Clinton Portis (21pts) and Phillip Rivers (20pts). The Burger Kings were led by Frank Gore (13pts) and Backslash Jackson with (10pts). Another lackluster performance from the Burger Kings and a 3 game losing streak which started against the Toast. The Kings just recently acquired Brandon Marshall in a trade with the Las Vegas Nuggets to help revitalize his team. The Beavers went from last in the power rankings to 2nd to last. The Compton Burger Kings went to dead last in the Power Rankings.
ANOTHER TOUGH LOSS FOR VEGAS
The Las Vegas Nuggets scored 112pts but unfortunately for them the Bunnies had a good week with 117pts. The Nuggets are currently ranked 4th in the Power Rankings but can't catch a break. The Nuggets are hoping the newly acquired Donovan McNabb can help spark a turnaround. The Bunnies are currently in 2nd place in the Western Conference and are 2nd in the Power Rankings. Don't be deceived by the Bunnies good looks, they are a dangerous team. The Vegas odds for the Nuggets to have a turnaround are a sure bet.
TOAST SQUEEK OUT ANOTHER CLOSE VICTORY
The Toast win by 3pts against the Western Conference leader the Arizona Heat. The Toast team owner is the President of Statiscal Engineering for the league and is currently under investigation for his controversial scoring practices. Many in the league believe the scoring is awfully suspicious and should be scrutinized for errors in his favor. The Heat are currently 6th in the Power Rankings and continue to hold onto 1st place in their conference, despite losing 2 weeks in a row. Fortunately for him, his conference is not very strong at this point. The Toast are number 1 in the power rankings, which is also calculated by him and is also under investigation. More details on the scoring investigation will be provided when they become available.
This game came down to homefield advantage. The Gilas won by the 3 point home field advantage. They were led by Drew Brees (2opts) and newly acquired safety Eric Weddle (10pts). The Monkey Butts got 19pts out of Marion Barber but the homefield advantage gave the Gilas the edge they needed. The Gilas stole 1st place from the Monkey Butts in the Eastern Conference and are currently 2nd in the Power Rankings. The current total for spending for the Gila Monsters is $45.00. The currently total for spending on the Monkey Butts team is $0.00.
THE BEAVERS SURVIVE COMPTON
The Beavers pounded the Kings and were led by Clinton Portis (21pts) and Phillip Rivers (20pts). The Burger Kings were led by Frank Gore (13pts) and Backslash Jackson with (10pts). Another lackluster performance from the Burger Kings and a 3 game losing streak which started against the Toast. The Kings just recently acquired Brandon Marshall in a trade with the Las Vegas Nuggets to help revitalize his team. The Beavers went from last in the power rankings to 2nd to last. The Compton Burger Kings went to dead last in the Power Rankings.
ANOTHER TOUGH LOSS FOR VEGAS
The Las Vegas Nuggets scored 112pts but unfortunately for them the Bunnies had a good week with 117pts. The Nuggets are currently ranked 4th in the Power Rankings but can't catch a break. The Nuggets are hoping the newly acquired Donovan McNabb can help spark a turnaround. The Bunnies are currently in 2nd place in the Western Conference and are 2nd in the Power Rankings. Don't be deceived by the Bunnies good looks, they are a dangerous team. The Vegas odds for the Nuggets to have a turnaround are a sure bet.
TOAST SQUEEK OUT ANOTHER CLOSE VICTORY
The Toast win by 3pts against the Western Conference leader the Arizona Heat. The Toast team owner is the President of Statiscal Engineering for the league and is currently under investigation for his controversial scoring practices. Many in the league believe the scoring is awfully suspicious and should be scrutinized for errors in his favor. The Heat are currently 6th in the Power Rankings and continue to hold onto 1st place in their conference, despite losing 2 weeks in a row. Fortunately for him, his conference is not very strong at this point. The Toast are number 1 in the power rankings, which is also calculated by him and is also under investigation. More details on the scoring investigation will be provided when they become available.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Week 6 Preview
Cal City at Monee
The Monkey Butts take a drive South Side for this battle of Eastern Conference dominance. Cal City was able to bolster its already #1 ranked offense this week, picking up two top-of-the-rotation wide receivers for their rent-a-QB Kurt Warner and never-been-used TE Tony Schoeffler. This move comes just in time for a vital game with the Monkeys that could change the balance of power in the East. If their new players can solidify their weak spot at WR, the Gilas could become the team to beat. First, however, they’ll need to get past the current top dog, Monee Monkey Butts. Monee sports the best record in the league at 4-1, and have not allowed their opponents to get closer than 10pts in any of their wins. Take away the one bad week against Boston, and this team has been consistently dominant each week. While they are ranked 3rd in the power rankings, they have the 2nd best defense in the league (thanks to the Tillman, Brown, Maynard combo) and have yet to see that crazy point game from their #1 draft pick Adrian Peterson. If they can keep AP contained, the Gilas have a shot. This game is going to be a battle you’d likely see on the Animal Planet, feces might even be thrown before it’s over.
Gila Monsters by 4
Boston at Compton
It’s Beaver season in Compton. Kings fans are hungry for a win after last week’s bludgeoning dropped them to 2-3. Bad news for the Beavers, they aren’t in the back woods-- the Kings carry sawed-off shotguns and semi-automatics here. Even Compton’s owner has joined in on the intimidation this week by verbally assaulting the Boston owner in Al Davis fashion: “..this will be a murder story of a Beaver who made a wrong turn into South Central L. A., Baby.” These lucky Beavers come into Compton with a winning record despite the worst power ranking in the league. Their Stienbrenner-esque owner has pissed off nearly every other owner, has gotten bored with that and now turned on his own players, threatening to trade away two of the team’s best players (Randy Moss and Matt Forte). The Beavers may be lucky to get out of Compton alive if their horseshoe falls back out of their ass, and I get a feeling the rest of the league wouldn’t really care. The Burger Kings are not much better in terms of on-the-field performance, and are coming off a pounding from Monee last week. This team is finally starting to show its age after its hot start, having lost their last 2 games. Feasting on the Beavers might be the answer, but the way the team is playing right now, this matchup will be tough. The loser of this game might need to start planning for the funeral.
Burger Kings by 2
Carson City at Las Vegas
The Nuggets get on the bus and take a trip out to the Ranch this week to take on the Bunnies. Carson City is coming off a heartbreaking 2pt loss and are riding a 2-game losing streak. The Bunny owner does not like losing and sent a message to his ladies this week by cutting 3 players from the roster, including high profile names Joseph Addai and Roy Williams. They are looking to get more defensive, in an attempt to improve on their next to last defense that’s averaging only 36pts so far this season. It was also nice to see them trim their active punters down to 2. As the only team left with significant roster space, they are positioning themselves for a 2nd half surge, and if the West continues to be the weaker conference, this strategy might allow them to blow by their competition on route to a division championship. The Nuggets, on the other hand, are waiting for the Beavers to pass that horseshoe through their colon so they can jump on it. Vegas is now 1-4 and has the worst record in the league, despite their #5 power ranking. Offensively things are clicking, however they have the worst defense scoring less than 35pts per game, and their defense took another blow this week as EJ Henderson went on the IR. This lack of competence on defense looks to be the difference between 1-4 and at least 3-2, and the EJ Henderson injury cost them a close game last week. This game will sport similarly matched teams with their high octane offense and not much D, so the fans are in for a track meet. Expect to see lots of scoring with the lead switching hands often in the 2nd half. When the dust clears the game will be decided by less than a field goal.
Nuggets by 2
Champaign at Tempe
The Toast are looking to extend their 2-game winning streak as they head to the desert to take on the Heat. The Toast may be ranked #1 in the power rankings, but their opponents have scored over 100pts against them in 4 of the 5 games this season. The Heat, on the other hand, like to keep the scoring as low as the humidity, with 2 of their 3 wins coming when scoring less that 90pts. Both teams rely on defense to win games; Champaign boasts the #1 ranked defense and Tempe is #4. The difference in this matchup may be on offense. Westbrook may not play, and their trade with Cal City has weakened their already disappointing WR corp. To compensate for this, they went out and attempted to match 4 years on a Defensive Tackle. The Heat may be trying to win games with their defense alone, but until that group can put up 80pts by themselves their best chance may be to hope their opponents collapse of heatstroke running up and down the field in the Arizona sun.
Toast by 15
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
WEEK 5 RECAP
BEAVERS WIN BIG IN VEGAS
Another tough loss for the Las Vegas Nuggets. He's currently the only 1-4 team but it's not because he had a bad week. The Las Vegas Nuggets lost 102 - 96. Las Vegas is 5th in the power rankings and should soon catch a break. The Beavers continue to surprise the competition and is backing up his trash talk with big wins. He is in the toughest conference and is last in the power rankings.
BURGERS GET FLIPPED
The Monkey Butts continue to roll over the competition. This game was no challenge with the Burger Kings only putting up 68 total points. The worst performance by the Burger Kings all season with only 1 player reaching double digits. The Monkey Butts are 3rd in the power rankings and have the best record in the league at 4-1. This week Adrian Peterson didn't even help and he managed 99 points. This is certainly not the saddest day in Compton history considering our high murder rate, but it still hurts.
BUNNIES GET SLIGHTLY TOASTED
The Toast win again by a narrow margin 123 to 121. The Bunnies threatened to comb over the statistics looking for an error in scoring. The previous week the Burger Kings were unable to locate a scoring error and lost 122 - 121. The Toast currently are 1st in the Power Rankings but are last in their conference at 2-3. This week the Bunnies requested a song for the website "Whip It" by Devo. The song is a little gay, but Commissioner Soukup honored his request. Tough loss for the Bunnies but the Toast have been experiencing tough losses this year also.
THRILLA IN THE GILA
The Thrilla in the Gila ended in the 1st round with a knock out. The Heat wasn't even on and he lost 104 to 80. Westbrook is still hurting and only scored him 5 points. The Gila Monsters continue to dominate and are second in their division. The Gila Monsters should be in 1st with the money they have spent, but he's still a big contender and is currently 2nd in the power rankings.
Another tough loss for the Las Vegas Nuggets. He's currently the only 1-4 team but it's not because he had a bad week. The Las Vegas Nuggets lost 102 - 96. Las Vegas is 5th in the power rankings and should soon catch a break. The Beavers continue to surprise the competition and is backing up his trash talk with big wins. He is in the toughest conference and is last in the power rankings.
BURGERS GET FLIPPED
The Monkey Butts continue to roll over the competition. This game was no challenge with the Burger Kings only putting up 68 total points. The worst performance by the Burger Kings all season with only 1 player reaching double digits. The Monkey Butts are 3rd in the power rankings and have the best record in the league at 4-1. This week Adrian Peterson didn't even help and he managed 99 points. This is certainly not the saddest day in Compton history considering our high murder rate, but it still hurts.
BUNNIES GET SLIGHTLY TOASTED
The Toast win again by a narrow margin 123 to 121. The Bunnies threatened to comb over the statistics looking for an error in scoring. The previous week the Burger Kings were unable to locate a scoring error and lost 122 - 121. The Toast currently are 1st in the Power Rankings but are last in their conference at 2-3. This week the Bunnies requested a song for the website "Whip It" by Devo. The song is a little gay, but Commissioner Soukup honored his request. Tough loss for the Bunnies but the Toast have been experiencing tough losses this year also.
THRILLA IN THE GILA
The Thrilla in the Gila ended in the 1st round with a knock out. The Heat wasn't even on and he lost 104 to 80. Westbrook is still hurting and only scored him 5 points. The Gila Monsters continue to dominate and are second in their division. The Gila Monsters should be in 1st with the money they have spent, but he's still a big contender and is currently 2nd in the power rankings.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
WEEK 5 PREVIEW
The power rankings were released and the biggest surprise was that the Toast who is 1-3 was ranked 2nd in the league.
BURGERS AND BUTTS
Looks like the Butts are going to start the correct Quarterback this time instead of the injured Carson Palmer. Hopefully one the Burger Kings benched QBs don't score 6 Touchdowns again this week. The Monkey Butts have played more consistently and prove to be the better team. However, the Burger Kings are getting improved play from his swing position and wider receiver corp so this game should be close.
BUNNIES AND TOAST
The toast are coming off big win to keep them from going 0-4. The toast are ranked 2nd in the power rankings but have been unable to close games until week 4. The bunnies are coming off a tough loss against the monee monkey butts and they are currently ranked 6th in power rankings. I see the toast pulling out another victory.
HEAT AND GILAS
Thrilla in the Gila. Will all the money being spent by the Gilas help give him another win. Currently he has spent $33.00 in cut fees and he is in 2nd place in his division behind a team who has spent $0.00 in cut fees. The Heat has only spent $3.00 in cut fees but is in 1st place in his conference. Will the Gilas prove it was money well spent ,or will the Heat prove it's not all about the money.
BEAVERS AND NUGGETS
The Beavers are coming off a tough loss to the Heat. The Nuggets are trying to continue to climb out of the losing streak he created at the start of the season. Can the Nuggets put back to back wins together and send the Beavers into a 2 game losing streak?
BURGERS AND BUTTS
Looks like the Butts are going to start the correct Quarterback this time instead of the injured Carson Palmer. Hopefully one the Burger Kings benched QBs don't score 6 Touchdowns again this week. The Monkey Butts have played more consistently and prove to be the better team. However, the Burger Kings are getting improved play from his swing position and wider receiver corp so this game should be close.
BUNNIES AND TOAST
The toast are coming off big win to keep them from going 0-4. The toast are ranked 2nd in the power rankings but have been unable to close games until week 4. The bunnies are coming off a tough loss against the monee monkey butts and they are currently ranked 6th in power rankings. I see the toast pulling out another victory.
HEAT AND GILAS
Thrilla in the Gila. Will all the money being spent by the Gilas help give him another win. Currently he has spent $33.00 in cut fees and he is in 2nd place in his division behind a team who has spent $0.00 in cut fees. The Heat has only spent $3.00 in cut fees but is in 1st place in his conference. Will the Gilas prove it was money well spent ,or will the Heat prove it's not all about the money.
BEAVERS AND NUGGETS
The Beavers are coming off a tough loss to the Heat. The Nuggets are trying to continue to climb out of the losing streak he created at the start of the season. Can the Nuggets put back to back wins together and send the Beavers into a 2 game losing streak?
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